My big adventure was to go to the clinic and have my blood work done. My dear friend, L came by in her station wagon and I managed to get into it and out again with no problem! It was a little trickier coming back but I think that was because I was tired.
The area is so pretty right now with green, green hills and blue sky. The clinic is an attractive building and someone in the laboratory had brought in gorgeous white orchids. I, of course, wished that I had brought my camera! Having never met a flower that I didn't fall in love with and want to photograph.
On the way, home, L offered to give me the neighborhood tour. It was kind of neat to see all the streets with the remodels that have gone on and especially the pretty flowers and yards. Several houses have been sold lately by a neighbor who is a Realtor and they are particularly nicely done.
Coming into my front gate I saw it from a very different perspective than what I usually do and it is one that says there are some rather large and overgrown bushes here. My friend K has been restraining herself valiantly from demolishing several and I think the time has come to tell her she has a license to wack.
Just a few minutes ago I found the email from the clinic that the tests were back. Sure enough, there they all are in my "e-chart". Everything is normal and that is good to see. My thyroid will go on being treated by the same medicine for a while longer--probably another year. The tune-up will be complete with another outing next month to see my doctor, whom I really like and admire. Getting out more is a need and a goal. I joked that there was no way to send my blood over the Internet, but in fact, I enjoyed going out. So it has been a very good and beautiful day. Cold though.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Earth Hour
Earth Hour will be here in one hour and twenty minutes. As I type the beautiful late afternoon sun that was shining in as I began wanes over my left shoulder. The light from the laptop screen is sufficient for typing. The furnace is running, because I have simply reached a point where I am so tired of being cold that I have decided to be warm. Not in keeping with Earth Hour, but there it is.
For decades I have lived frugally, partly out of commitment, primarily from necessity. Disability impoverishes people because of the weird health care system that we have and the lack of access for those who are disabled unless they are willing to submit themselves to the indignity of institutionalized poverty that is our so-called benefit system.
I think that I might be happier with Earth Hour if those who invented it would link the over use of energy (and perhaps other resources) to the rising costs of these things and the effects that has on the lives of those who are poor, including those who are made falsely dependent because of government benefit programs that are really forms of entrapment.
Nevertheless, I will put the heat back a degree or two for the requisite hour; turn on only the most necessary lights (as I do anyway) and power down the laptop. The television, that gobbler of energy, can stay off for this evening and I will work at the other computer. I will be grateful for my blessings and that I can join in this symbolic effort.
In addition to conserving energy, I believe that we need much greater and systemic economic change in this country. The Fall will arrive all too quickly--with cold weather again and higher energy needs. Let's join together to see if we can do more than just symbolic moments to make Earth livable for everyone; to eliminate poverty not only in the Third World but in our own country as well.
For decades I have lived frugally, partly out of commitment, primarily from necessity. Disability impoverishes people because of the weird health care system that we have and the lack of access for those who are disabled unless they are willing to submit themselves to the indignity of institutionalized poverty that is our so-called benefit system.
I think that I might be happier with Earth Hour if those who invented it would link the over use of energy (and perhaps other resources) to the rising costs of these things and the effects that has on the lives of those who are poor, including those who are made falsely dependent because of government benefit programs that are really forms of entrapment.
Nevertheless, I will put the heat back a degree or two for the requisite hour; turn on only the most necessary lights (as I do anyway) and power down the laptop. The television, that gobbler of energy, can stay off for this evening and I will work at the other computer. I will be grateful for my blessings and that I can join in this symbolic effort.
In addition to conserving energy, I believe that we need much greater and systemic economic change in this country. The Fall will arrive all too quickly--with cold weather again and higher energy needs. Let's join together to see if we can do more than just symbolic moments to make Earth livable for everyone; to eliminate poverty not only in the Third World but in our own country as well.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Friday again
I can't point to one major project finished this week and yet the week has flown. Rain, expected on Wednesday, Thursday and today hasn't materialized. My schedule has twisted and turned and twisted back on itself as others schedules have changed, so at least, I guess I can say that I am flexible! (At least to a point.)
Last night I found myself writing without any "block" or strain or I can't do this right now. It felt good; there was "flow"--whatever that really is. I have long maintained that writer's block is a myth; a procrastination device that we give into when we have the luxury of time on our hands or we really don't want to finish. I never had writer's block until I read too many books on writing--and most of those will clear my house in the next two months as I declutter some more.
Maybe writer's block is a result of clutter--the combined physical clutter of an overflowing work space (who really wants a paperless office anyway?) and clutter in my mind. Reduce the clutter and there is more space for positive energy, concentration and productivity.
By accident the other day I tuned into Oprah and saw again the episodes featuring the woman who must truly be the "Queen of Clutter". It was truly nearly unbelievable and if it had been in print instead of video it would have felt exaggerated. There it was: 3000 square feet and more because of the garage of clutter. I look at my humble mess and say with gratitude, "Thank God there is no way that I could do that", but there is new resolve to continue ridding myself of the clutter.
Having some space just for space makes much more sense to me now than it once did. The front hall really isn't a storage/clutter area. Onward with the excavation.
I also realized after watching this program that direct sales as a home-based business is probably not the best self-employment opportunity for the shopaholic or the confirmed clutterer. Such momentum these businesses have for buying more! Just this week I have been getting the new quarterly announcements from my director urging me to consider that I will need, "5, 10, even 15" of each new product to serve my customers. I should have so many customers! I let my customers tell me what they need and then I order. I have a dedicated space for the business--no more. It is all together and I can control it. This feels good and may be a foundational step to making it grow and become profitable.
Well, this has rambled--the problem with the blog when I don't have a specific topic in mind. It is a good day and a sunny one, even though it was supposed to rain. A good omen, perhaps.
Last night I found myself writing without any "block" or strain or I can't do this right now. It felt good; there was "flow"--whatever that really is. I have long maintained that writer's block is a myth; a procrastination device that we give into when we have the luxury of time on our hands or we really don't want to finish. I never had writer's block until I read too many books on writing--and most of those will clear my house in the next two months as I declutter some more.
Maybe writer's block is a result of clutter--the combined physical clutter of an overflowing work space (who really wants a paperless office anyway?) and clutter in my mind. Reduce the clutter and there is more space for positive energy, concentration and productivity.
By accident the other day I tuned into Oprah and saw again the episodes featuring the woman who must truly be the "Queen of Clutter". It was truly nearly unbelievable and if it had been in print instead of video it would have felt exaggerated. There it was: 3000 square feet and more because of the garage of clutter. I look at my humble mess and say with gratitude, "Thank God there is no way that I could do that", but there is new resolve to continue ridding myself of the clutter.
Having some space just for space makes much more sense to me now than it once did. The front hall really isn't a storage/clutter area. Onward with the excavation.
I also realized after watching this program that direct sales as a home-based business is probably not the best self-employment opportunity for the shopaholic or the confirmed clutterer. Such momentum these businesses have for buying more! Just this week I have been getting the new quarterly announcements from my director urging me to consider that I will need, "5, 10, even 15" of each new product to serve my customers. I should have so many customers! I let my customers tell me what they need and then I order. I have a dedicated space for the business--no more. It is all together and I can control it. This feels good and may be a foundational step to making it grow and become profitable.
Well, this has rambled--the problem with the blog when I don't have a specific topic in mind. It is a good day and a sunny one, even though it was supposed to rain. A good omen, perhaps.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Doing Taxes and Other Mundane Things
The big envelope came in the mail from the IRS On Monday. I do qualify! I do, I do, yippee, I do! I'm almost a real person in the real world (whatever that is) after all. I will qualify for the tax stimulus rebate check.
So now I get to file. Last year was not a great year. I should do my Mary Kay income on a quarterly basis, but it is too discouraging. Last year seemed to be adequately busy. The pile of tickets that I wrote seems to be about as thick as in previous years. (You can see I do this in a really organized, "scientific" way that an accountant would cringe about. It's not as bad as Marlo Thomas's "That Girl", with her shoebox full of receipts, including the Popsicle stick on which she had written the amount she spent treating her Brownie troop to Popsicles. Made perfect sense to me.
Anyway, actually crunching the numbers hurts. Shows why the picture each month has been a little bleak and my self-esteem isn't exactly any more enhanced than my bank balance. What to do, especially in a recession, to better the situation? Blow my own horn louder, I guess.
Next to the IRS site to find the right forms and then to see if joining the Stanford Professional Women's club will do me any good in the way of finding more customers. I like working, I like being self-employed, I would like it all even more if it just made a steadier income. Still I am grateful that I will get the rebate. It isn't quite winning the lottery, but it is good to be included.
So now I get to file. Last year was not a great year. I should do my Mary Kay income on a quarterly basis, but it is too discouraging. Last year seemed to be adequately busy. The pile of tickets that I wrote seems to be about as thick as in previous years. (You can see I do this in a really organized, "scientific" way that an accountant would cringe about. It's not as bad as Marlo Thomas's "That Girl", with her shoebox full of receipts, including the Popsicle stick on which she had written the amount she spent treating her Brownie troop to Popsicles. Made perfect sense to me.
Anyway, actually crunching the numbers hurts. Shows why the picture each month has been a little bleak and my self-esteem isn't exactly any more enhanced than my bank balance. What to do, especially in a recession, to better the situation? Blow my own horn louder, I guess.
Next to the IRS site to find the right forms and then to see if joining the Stanford Professional Women's club will do me any good in the way of finding more customers. I like working, I like being self-employed, I would like it all even more if it just made a steadier income. Still I am grateful that I will get the rebate. It isn't quite winning the lottery, but it is good to be included.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Easter Sunday
Alleluia, the Lord, the Christ is Risen Today! This is our Glorious Holy Day for Jesus has truly given us back our lives in Him. As St. Paul said, "Rejoice, again I say, Rejoice." This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. It is truly a beautiful and joyous day.
After having the tv off all week, I remembered last night that I have EWTN. Sure enough, there was the Easter Vigil in all its glory from St. Peter's in Rome! With the Holy Father, "Papa Benedict" presiding, it was truly resplendent. Hearing Lumen Christi and singing Deo Gratias with them was joyful. The Exsultet was splendidly sung by a deacon who looked like he could have been an opera singer, but had a smoother voice, one that rose seemingly effortlessly as he chanted the ancient music.
The only thing that marred the service was the popping of electronic flash during the procession of the Paschal Candle--even though people had been specifically asked, in three languages, no less, not to use cameras with flash! Sigh.
If I had thought of it earlier, I could have "attended" all of the Triduum services via television through the offering of eternal word television network, the Catholic cable service. This is a reason to keep cable and to rejoice in it!
I am enjoying my Pascha, which I was able to make thanks to my neighbor who shared the special Baker's Cottage Cheese, through our neighborhood list. Technology doesn't replace real face to face community--and I have been making that mistake myself, increasingly these last few years--but it can and does enhance it. Another neighbor left a chocolate bunny on my porch along with the church bulletin. I had to laugh as I started eating bunny ears! Not at all technological, theological or liturgical but it is definitely part of Easter traditions!
Happy Joyous Easter! I am grateful to everyone who has made my celebration this year. Thank you.
After having the tv off all week, I remembered last night that I have EWTN. Sure enough, there was the Easter Vigil in all its glory from St. Peter's in Rome! With the Holy Father, "Papa Benedict" presiding, it was truly resplendent. Hearing Lumen Christi and singing Deo Gratias with them was joyful. The Exsultet was splendidly sung by a deacon who looked like he could have been an opera singer, but had a smoother voice, one that rose seemingly effortlessly as he chanted the ancient music.
The only thing that marred the service was the popping of electronic flash during the procession of the Paschal Candle--even though people had been specifically asked, in three languages, no less, not to use cameras with flash! Sigh.
If I had thought of it earlier, I could have "attended" all of the Triduum services via television through the offering of eternal word television network, the Catholic cable service. This is a reason to keep cable and to rejoice in it!
I am enjoying my Pascha, which I was able to make thanks to my neighbor who shared the special Baker's Cottage Cheese, through our neighborhood list. Technology doesn't replace real face to face community--and I have been making that mistake myself, increasingly these last few years--but it can and does enhance it. Another neighbor left a chocolate bunny on my porch along with the church bulletin. I had to laugh as I started eating bunny ears! Not at all technological, theological or liturgical but it is definitely part of Easter traditions!
Happy Joyous Easter! I am grateful to everyone who has made my celebration this year. Thank you.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Holy Saturday
The music that I have been listening to for the past two nights is by a variety of composers, not Mozart as I had thought. It is gorgeous and I will listen to it again this evening even though it is not specifically for Holy Saturday.
I remember waiting in the cold dark church while the paschal fire was kindled outside on a barbecue and the Paschal candle lit. The passing of the lights to the little candles held by everyone in the congregation is one of the most special rituals of the whole year. Trying to keep the candles straight up and not dripping wax onto one's hands is another very practical memory. The lessons, chanted during the vigil service, are long, reminding us of the long slow journey to salvation through Jesus while we wait, symbolically, for His resurrection. (Somebody usually quips that the length of the readings reminds us also that the pews we sit on are hard--the last penance for Lent!) Then just as sleepiness and waning candle light are about to overcome us lights come on, bells ring, the organ plays--if you are really lucky there might even be a tuba or a krumhorn or two. The celebrant intones, "Gloria in excelsis Deo," the words not sung for the weeks of Lent and the choir responds, "et in terra" and we are rejoicing. This is the shortest Mass of the year, I believe, and some pastors have the good sense to confine themselves to saying, "Rejoice. He is Risen. Alleluia. Happy Easter," rather than to try to take us on a post-midnight (and sometimes post-modernist) theological journey of discovery when what we want to do is sing our heart out and go home to our nice warm beds.
After two days of no Mass, the short Easter Vigil Mass is its own surprise and it ends with a snippet of Matins, "And very early on the first day of the week, they went onto the sepulcher and found it lying empty, Alleluia." They, of course, were the women, who had waited at the foot of the cross on Friday weeping until they could almost not see.
I suppose that one shouldn't have favorite parts of these great services, they do after all have a seamless whole. Still the Gloria and the Matins verses and the singing of Alleluia at the end of everything are my favorite parts of the Easter Vigil.
Deo Gratias, Alleluia. Ite Missa Est, Alleluia. These are two more of my favorite parts. The Liturgy is such a great gift of the heritage of Catholicism. This is a good day to give thanks for it.
Easter is a great gift of hope and joy to us who believe that Jesus has given us Eternal Life. Today we wait, hoping and expecting that tomorrow our joy may be full.
I remember waiting in the cold dark church while the paschal fire was kindled outside on a barbecue and the Paschal candle lit. The passing of the lights to the little candles held by everyone in the congregation is one of the most special rituals of the whole year. Trying to keep the candles straight up and not dripping wax onto one's hands is another very practical memory. The lessons, chanted during the vigil service, are long, reminding us of the long slow journey to salvation through Jesus while we wait, symbolically, for His resurrection. (Somebody usually quips that the length of the readings reminds us also that the pews we sit on are hard--the last penance for Lent!) Then just as sleepiness and waning candle light are about to overcome us lights come on, bells ring, the organ plays--if you are really lucky there might even be a tuba or a krumhorn or two. The celebrant intones, "Gloria in excelsis Deo," the words not sung for the weeks of Lent and the choir responds, "et in terra" and we are rejoicing. This is the shortest Mass of the year, I believe, and some pastors have the good sense to confine themselves to saying, "Rejoice. He is Risen. Alleluia. Happy Easter," rather than to try to take us on a post-midnight (and sometimes post-modernist) theological journey of discovery when what we want to do is sing our heart out and go home to our nice warm beds.
After two days of no Mass, the short Easter Vigil Mass is its own surprise and it ends with a snippet of Matins, "And very early on the first day of the week, they went onto the sepulcher and found it lying empty, Alleluia." They, of course, were the women, who had waited at the foot of the cross on Friday weeping until they could almost not see.
I suppose that one shouldn't have favorite parts of these great services, they do after all have a seamless whole. Still the Gloria and the Matins verses and the singing of Alleluia at the end of everything are my favorite parts of the Easter Vigil.
Deo Gratias, Alleluia. Ite Missa Est, Alleluia. These are two more of my favorite parts. The Liturgy is such a great gift of the heritage of Catholicism. This is a good day to give thanks for it.
Easter is a great gift of hope and joy to us who believe that Jesus has given us Eternal Life. Today we wait, hoping and expecting that tomorrow our joy may be full.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Holy Week, Good Friday
The music continues and the liturgy stirs our hearts and souls. All of the mourning of the human heart is focused on this day. The Improperia of the Good Friday service is one of the last bits of Greek in Roman Catholic liturgy (along with the Kyrie). I loved singing this music when I was young and last night had the moving experience of listening to it on my portable CD player a gift from a very dear friend. Tonight I will listen again and pay attention to the notes that come with the CD. The version of the music I am familiar with is Victoria; I think the CD is a setting by Mozart with a fabulous choir, that of Westminster Abbey.
Listening on the CD is not as good as being able to attend the services, but it is better than no Good Friday music at all. I am so grateful for it.
Soon I will see if the tapes that I have that are over ten years old are still good enough to play through my little tape recorder and then I will put the software for converting tapes to CD onto my desktop and see what I can do to recover some of the choir music for my own use. I hope that they will not mind. The tapes are another group of things that I have been saving for good and it is time to recover the music.
A blessed Good Friday to all.
Listening on the CD is not as good as being able to attend the services, but it is better than no Good Friday music at all. I am so grateful for it.
Soon I will see if the tapes that I have that are over ten years old are still good enough to play through my little tape recorder and then I will put the software for converting tapes to CD onto my desktop and see what I can do to recover some of the choir music for my own use. I hope that they will not mind. The tapes are another group of things that I have been saving for good and it is time to recover the music.
A blessed Good Friday to all.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Holy Thursday
Today the liturgy is again rich in symbolism and music that is only heard once a year. I remember singing Pange Lingua as a child and finding it so beautiful. Holy Thursday commemorates the Last Supper and the Institution of the Sacrament of the Eucharist or Holy Communion as we knew it then. In addition, there is a ritual called the washing of the feet, that I also found embarrassing when I was growing up.
Twelve people, pillars of the community, chosen beforehand (so that they could be sure to have clean feet and clean socks)sat in a row on benches or chairs carefully place across the front of the church and took off one shoe and one sock. The priest and the server proceeded down the row washing one foot of each of the people.
Was this really what Jesus had in mind when He commanded us to wash one another's feet? I don't think so. I think it is literally a command to us to take care of one another in our bodily needs and suffering. Mothers do this daily and never question doing it. Nurses also do it. To untangle the hair of someone who has been unable to brush the snarls out. To help someone wash. To do laundry and change bedding for someone who can no longer do this (or has never been able to do this.) As a disabled person the parameters of what I can do and where I need help have made me think very differently about this than I think I would have if I had been glibly independent all of my life. I really do think that we literally must help each other if we are to have true spiritual and true Christian community. Our culture has tended to professionalize these helping tasks, leaving caring to those who are care-caregivers. Perhaps after the Maundy we need to go forth and find someone who really needs help with washing his or her feet--and hair and person.
On another level, I think that this command is about the earthiness of being human and recognizing our humanity in its grounded bodiliness; being human is by no means about being ethereal. We need food and shelter and a place to sleep, warmth, security and the society of friends. We provide these things for ourselves more independently of others in today's culture--our friends are characters in a tv sitcom and even our real friends become in a way "virtualized" by social utility web-sites that allow us to "network" via images of one another. We still need the human community in all its nitty-grittiness--and even dirty feet.
I continue to leave my television off for this week and am recovering a sense of peace and spaciousness that I had forgotten.
Last night I did indeed listen to the Lamentations of the Prophet Jeremiah. This music, so ancient and so beautiful, touches my deepest personal woundedness, anguish and grieving and at the same time lifts me above it. It is profound and difficult to describe and I am so grateful for it and for the education that I received in it as a child and as a young woman when I had the joy and privilege of singing with a renowned and remarkable choir in Palo Alto California. I will be placing the link in my link list shortly.
Twelve people, pillars of the community, chosen beforehand (so that they could be sure to have clean feet and clean socks)sat in a row on benches or chairs carefully place across the front of the church and took off one shoe and one sock. The priest and the server proceeded down the row washing one foot of each of the people.
Was this really what Jesus had in mind when He commanded us to wash one another's feet? I don't think so. I think it is literally a command to us to take care of one another in our bodily needs and suffering. Mothers do this daily and never question doing it. Nurses also do it. To untangle the hair of someone who has been unable to brush the snarls out. To help someone wash. To do laundry and change bedding for someone who can no longer do this (or has never been able to do this.) As a disabled person the parameters of what I can do and where I need help have made me think very differently about this than I think I would have if I had been glibly independent all of my life. I really do think that we literally must help each other if we are to have true spiritual and true Christian community. Our culture has tended to professionalize these helping tasks, leaving caring to those who are care-caregivers. Perhaps after the Maundy we need to go forth and find someone who really needs help with washing his or her feet--and hair and person.
On another level, I think that this command is about the earthiness of being human and recognizing our humanity in its grounded bodiliness; being human is by no means about being ethereal. We need food and shelter and a place to sleep, warmth, security and the society of friends. We provide these things for ourselves more independently of others in today's culture--our friends are characters in a tv sitcom and even our real friends become in a way "virtualized" by social utility web-sites that allow us to "network" via images of one another. We still need the human community in all its nitty-grittiness--and even dirty feet.
I continue to leave my television off for this week and am recovering a sense of peace and spaciousness that I had forgotten.
Last night I did indeed listen to the Lamentations of the Prophet Jeremiah. This music, so ancient and so beautiful, touches my deepest personal woundedness, anguish and grieving and at the same time lifts me above it. It is profound and difficult to describe and I am so grateful for it and for the education that I received in it as a child and as a young woman when I had the joy and privilege of singing with a renowned and remarkable choir in Palo Alto California. I will be placing the link in my link list shortly.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Wednesday of Holy Week
I am finding that I almost do not miss the television. The quiet in the house is profound. Right now the loudest sound is the refrigerator and then the slight click, click made by the computer keyboard and the occasional whir of the little hard drive on my laptop.
Tulips grace my kitchen counter, a gift from a friend who came yesterday bring me communion and to wish me a Happy Easter. Today my pastor visited and also brought communion as well as the anointing of the sick. I am so blessed that I am almost happy today and the depression, which normally weighs me down almost as much as my weight, seems to be at bay. Sunshine flooding the house helps, too, of course.
Safeway delivered my groceries and paper products today. Last night as I made the order I felt, for the second time in a month, that I was personally floating the economy out of the recession! Everything is so much more expensive than it used to be. One thing caught my eye--eggs that have been pasteurized. More expensive, but possibly worth it if a salmonella infection can be bypassed. They come in a plastic carton though. I do hope that it is recyclable--and will be tempted to find some use for it. Cute plastic containers and boxes always are hard to part with because I think that I will find some use for them. Recycling takes the edge off of throwing them out--but not completely.
Tonight is Tenebrae, the service in which the Lamentations of Jeremiah feature in the service and the lights are turned out, preparing for the darkness that shrouded the world on the afternoon of Good Friday. I will listen to a recording tonight and be present in thought with those who sing this beautiful service with its splendid music.
Jeremiah is my kind of prophet, too. Reluctant and having to be dragged into his vocation, if I recall at one time he went and hid in a well. Hmmm. Maybe I need to remember more about him and see if there aren't some parallels here.
A blessed mid-week of Holy Week to all.
Tulips grace my kitchen counter, a gift from a friend who came yesterday bring me communion and to wish me a Happy Easter. Today my pastor visited and also brought communion as well as the anointing of the sick. I am so blessed that I am almost happy today and the depression, which normally weighs me down almost as much as my weight, seems to be at bay. Sunshine flooding the house helps, too, of course.
Safeway delivered my groceries and paper products today. Last night as I made the order I felt, for the second time in a month, that I was personally floating the economy out of the recession! Everything is so much more expensive than it used to be. One thing caught my eye--eggs that have been pasteurized. More expensive, but possibly worth it if a salmonella infection can be bypassed. They come in a plastic carton though. I do hope that it is recyclable--and will be tempted to find some use for it. Cute plastic containers and boxes always are hard to part with because I think that I will find some use for them. Recycling takes the edge off of throwing them out--but not completely.
Tonight is Tenebrae, the service in which the Lamentations of Jeremiah feature in the service and the lights are turned out, preparing for the darkness that shrouded the world on the afternoon of Good Friday. I will listen to a recording tonight and be present in thought with those who sing this beautiful service with its splendid music.
Jeremiah is my kind of prophet, too. Reluctant and having to be dragged into his vocation, if I recall at one time he went and hid in a well. Hmmm. Maybe I need to remember more about him and see if there aren't some parallels here.
A blessed mid-week of Holy Week to all.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Tuesday of Holy Week
Today is the third day of Holy Week counting from Sunday. Sunday I decided to try an experiment and not turn on the tv for an entire week. This was prompted in part by the fact that it is Holy Week and it seemed like silence would be a great way to observe it, especially silence from the naysayers nattering negatively about the news and the obnoxious, tasteless, in-my-face and always loud commercials.
In addition, I was watching something on Saturday night that had a particularly, gruesome and unsettling image that I had difficulty shaking before I went to sleep. It prompted a bad dream of its own--very different, but still not the way to wake up on a Sunday morning. The benefit of having had an old tv with a crummy picture was that I was using it like radio and didn't see the disturbing images.
So far I have slept better (and longer)without the tv on than with it on. I have knitted in the quiet of my own mind and space unfettered by whatever is going on in the outside world. Today will be day three of my experiment.
It is a good day, this Tuesday, a bit on the chilly side but bright and sunny. The trees are leafing out and the daffodils are gone. In two days it will be officially Spring, but I think the warmth of spring may be late this year even here in California.
Finally, my doctor, bless her came through and everything was done electronically that needed to be done. Now if I could send in my blood electronically to be tested....Or better yet have the kind of scanner that Dr. Crusher had on STNG, and just upload to the computer the way that we upload photos. Virtual medicine for a virtual world. Someday we may eat that way too! (That is a penitential thought!)
In addition, I was watching something on Saturday night that had a particularly, gruesome and unsettling image that I had difficulty shaking before I went to sleep. It prompted a bad dream of its own--very different, but still not the way to wake up on a Sunday morning. The benefit of having had an old tv with a crummy picture was that I was using it like radio and didn't see the disturbing images.
So far I have slept better (and longer)without the tv on than with it on. I have knitted in the quiet of my own mind and space unfettered by whatever is going on in the outside world. Today will be day three of my experiment.
It is a good day, this Tuesday, a bit on the chilly side but bright and sunny. The trees are leafing out and the daffodils are gone. In two days it will be officially Spring, but I think the warmth of spring may be late this year even here in California.
Finally, my doctor, bless her came through and everything was done electronically that needed to be done. Now if I could send in my blood electronically to be tested....Or better yet have the kind of scanner that Dr. Crusher had on STNG, and just upload to the computer the way that we upload photos. Virtual medicine for a virtual world. Someday we may eat that way too! (That is a penitential thought!)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Monday, or "It's One of Those Days"
Somehow Mondays always do seem slower. In reading one of my favorite blogs, Lisa Leonard's "It's the Little Things" I was pleased to see that I am not alone, but it doesn't entirely cure the Monday blues to know that.
The pictures that I took this morning didn't turn out. I seem to jiggle the camera and get double or blurry exposures, something I thought wouldn't occur with a digital camera, but it does. So back to the drawing board, err photo shoot board to do over.
This morning I emailed my doctor, who hasn't heard from me in over a year. I still haven't heard from her, but it is Monday at her office too and she probably has a zillion messages starting from Friday night. (So now I wish I had emailed her on Friday night.)
Of course, fearing the worst as I always do, I am assuming that I have fallen out of her data base... I had assumed that paying the fee for the email service would keep me in the database. Maybe it's just some cosmic super data base and not the actual doctor's database. Anyone reading this can see where it is leading and I hope laugh along with me. (I know I am not the center of the universe, but sometimes for just a few minutes or even nano-seconds, I sure would like to be.)
One thing did work, a widget on Squidoo that puts a countdown counter on a lens. Very cute. I will add some more to other lenses just to do something that works. (This is on my Counting Down to Christmas lens.)
I also added a few things to my Etsy yesterday. I am quite excited and actually daring to hope about Etsy, as opposed to so many other things, that it will actually work. The standout feature that distinguishes it from other venues is the "Showcase". Twenty-four hours of actual, you know it is there, paid advertising that is inexpensive and targeted. I plan to try this as soon as I am satisfied with the pictures I am posting. (Or some other perfectionistic procrastination device is satisfied!)
Lately it seems that wherever I turn I hear of projects that have helped somebody in the third world for a donation of a few hundred dollars get started with something. (A cow, a goat, making bicycles, whatever.) Etsy is one place where Americans can get started for a very low fee. (Provided the individual has a computer or computer access and a digital camera--or a friend with one.) This looks like the perfect thing for someone with a disability to do to earn that little, little bit that Social Security allows. Even that little, little bit could make the difference between debt and dignity, depression and a sense of usefulness. I am experimenting partly because I do so need to find something that works for me and partly because I am actually working on the book, Downsized: Finding New Ways to Work. (My little, little bit of HTML just worked too--the day is looking up!)
Time to go try those photos again.
The pictures that I took this morning didn't turn out. I seem to jiggle the camera and get double or blurry exposures, something I thought wouldn't occur with a digital camera, but it does. So back to the drawing board, err photo shoot board to do over.
This morning I emailed my doctor, who hasn't heard from me in over a year. I still haven't heard from her, but it is Monday at her office too and she probably has a zillion messages starting from Friday night. (So now I wish I had emailed her on Friday night.)
Of course, fearing the worst as I always do, I am assuming that I have fallen out of her data base... I had assumed that paying the fee for the email service would keep me in the database. Maybe it's just some cosmic super data base and not the actual doctor's database. Anyone reading this can see where it is leading and I hope laugh along with me. (I know I am not the center of the universe, but sometimes for just a few minutes or even nano-seconds, I sure would like to be.)
One thing did work, a widget on Squidoo that puts a countdown counter on a lens. Very cute. I will add some more to other lenses just to do something that works. (This is on my Counting Down to Christmas lens.)
I also added a few things to my Etsy yesterday. I am quite excited and actually daring to hope about Etsy, as opposed to so many other things, that it will actually work. The standout feature that distinguishes it from other venues is the "Showcase". Twenty-four hours of actual, you know it is there, paid advertising that is inexpensive and targeted. I plan to try this as soon as I am satisfied with the pictures I am posting. (Or some other perfectionistic procrastination device is satisfied!)
Lately it seems that wherever I turn I hear of projects that have helped somebody in the third world for a donation of a few hundred dollars get started with something. (A cow, a goat, making bicycles, whatever.) Etsy is one place where Americans can get started for a very low fee. (Provided the individual has a computer or computer access and a digital camera--or a friend with one.) This looks like the perfect thing for someone with a disability to do to earn that little, little bit that Social Security allows. Even that little, little bit could make the difference between debt and dignity, depression and a sense of usefulness. I am experimenting partly because I do so need to find something that works for me and partly because I am actually working on the book, Downsized: Finding New Ways to Work. (My little, little bit of HTML just worked too--the day is looking up!)
Time to go try those photos again.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Palm Sunday
Today, Palm Sunday, marks the beginning of the most solemn week in the Christian liturgical year. So many special services mark this week that it is almost necessary to take vacation to participate in them all and even more necessary to do so if you are choir member. I remember that singing the liturgy for Holy Week took about twenty-four hours, including rehearsal time and was worth every second of it.
Palm Sunday and Holy Thursday are marked by processions. Good Friday has the prostration of the ministers before the service begins. (Maybe we should require this of politicians before they are sworn in.) Tenebrae ends in darkness that will end with the kindling of the new fire, the lighting of the Paschal candle and the passing of the light from person to person as the candles are lit at the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday night. One of the two times of the year when services are traditionally held in the dark of the night (the other being Christmas Eve Midnight Mass) this makes the liturgy especially poignant and set apart. It also brings in the music of matins, one of the monastic hours which lay people do not usually hear. "And very early on the first day of the week, they went onto the sepulchre and found it lying empty, alleluia", is the verse that I particularly remember and will sing myself until I am hoarse.
The ancient symbolism is ever new and so packed and rich that it can never grow old or be completely explored in one life-time. Our need to believe in the after life, especially after middle-age when most likely we have lost our own parents and are looking at our own mortality is fulfilled in these liturgies which proclaim Christ's death freely taken on to free us from sin and death and His most glorious resurrection in which we hope for our own.
When I was growing up, we would turn the television off on Wednesday night and not turn it on again until Sunday night (we were Maverick fans and there was no VCR in those days--let alone Tivo). I think I will try to do this this week and see what it does to my schedule, my mind and my dreams.
A blessed and fruitful Holy week to everyone. I am grateful for the time I spent singing in a choir, for growing up Catholic before Vatican II and for my parents who gave me their faith and their traditions. This is a good week for remembrance as well as prayer.
Palm Sunday and Holy Thursday are marked by processions. Good Friday has the prostration of the ministers before the service begins. (Maybe we should require this of politicians before they are sworn in.) Tenebrae ends in darkness that will end with the kindling of the new fire, the lighting of the Paschal candle and the passing of the light from person to person as the candles are lit at the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday night. One of the two times of the year when services are traditionally held in the dark of the night (the other being Christmas Eve Midnight Mass) this makes the liturgy especially poignant and set apart. It also brings in the music of matins, one of the monastic hours which lay people do not usually hear. "And very early on the first day of the week, they went onto the sepulchre and found it lying empty, alleluia", is the verse that I particularly remember and will sing myself until I am hoarse.
The ancient symbolism is ever new and so packed and rich that it can never grow old or be completely explored in one life-time. Our need to believe in the after life, especially after middle-age when most likely we have lost our own parents and are looking at our own mortality is fulfilled in these liturgies which proclaim Christ's death freely taken on to free us from sin and death and His most glorious resurrection in which we hope for our own.
When I was growing up, we would turn the television off on Wednesday night and not turn it on again until Sunday night (we were Maverick fans and there was no VCR in those days--let alone Tivo). I think I will try to do this this week and see what it does to my schedule, my mind and my dreams.
A blessed and fruitful Holy week to everyone. I am grateful for the time I spent singing in a choir, for growing up Catholic before Vatican II and for my parents who gave me their faith and their traditions. This is a good week for remembrance as well as prayer.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Pascha
Pascha is the word for Easter in the Russian Orthodox tradition. It is also a sweet bread that is baked for the celebration of Pascha and it is a delicious cheese desert, somewhat like cheesecake filling only much yummier that is also made only for this feast.
The triple use of the word fascinates me as does keeping certain foods special to certain holidays. When I was growing up we had turkey only on Thanksgiving and ham for New Years and Easter, although many people have a leg of lamb for Easter dinner in honor of the symbolism of Christ the Paschal Lamb.
Easter is only a week away and I am looking forward to making Pascha, thanks to a kind neighbor who is sharing her baker's cottage cheese with me. This is exciting.
I had wondered if I could approximate the dry texture of the baker's cottage cheese (also known as pot cheese) by putting it into the yogurt cheese maker and I may still do that as an experiment.
I do not have one of the beautiful wooden molds that are traditional for making pascha (the cheese dessert) so a bowl will have to do. Some year, I do hope to buy the mold.
Anyway, thank you to my neighbor who is of Russian descent, for offering her extra pot cheese on the neighborhood list. It is fun to see what the list turns up next. I am grateful.
The triple use of the word fascinates me as does keeping certain foods special to certain holidays. When I was growing up we had turkey only on Thanksgiving and ham for New Years and Easter, although many people have a leg of lamb for Easter dinner in honor of the symbolism of Christ the Paschal Lamb.
Easter is only a week away and I am looking forward to making Pascha, thanks to a kind neighbor who is sharing her baker's cottage cheese with me. This is exciting.
I had wondered if I could approximate the dry texture of the baker's cottage cheese (also known as pot cheese) by putting it into the yogurt cheese maker and I may still do that as an experiment.
I do not have one of the beautiful wooden molds that are traditional for making pascha (the cheese dessert) so a bowl will have to do. Some year, I do hope to buy the mold.
Anyway, thank you to my neighbor who is of Russian descent, for offering her extra pot cheese on the neighborhood list. It is fun to see what the list turns up next. I am grateful.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Lights! Camera! Roll the wheelchair!
Last night I had the opportunity to witness and help with the most ingenious and innovative way to use a wheelchair that I have ever seen. Three boys from the local high school, one of whom is a neighbor, had asked if they could use my house to shoot a film project for their senior film class. Last night was the designated night. They came to my door with tripods and a camera gear box and a wheelchair. I answered the door in my wheelchair.
Surprised by the sight of the wheelchair, I was slightly taken aback and asked, "What is the wheelchair for?" My neighbor responded, "We have a tracking shot and we are going to use the wheelchair as a dolly." Ok. Actually it was quite cool and I plan to post a picture here later when I have uploaded the pictures to the desktop, downloaded them to the flash drive and re-uploaded them to the laptop, from which, connected to the Internet, I am blogging.
The equipment intrigued me. A light on a light pole. A tripod for the light pole and another for the camera. A boom mike with a headset. A round screen known as a diffuser. Finally, the wheelchair. Painter's blue tape came out of one of my drawers and was useful to keep the camera on the footplate of the wheelchair. (I just learned about painter's blue tape myself last summer.)
Life is varied and fun. I want a tripod myself. Also some lights. And a diffuser. Adorama has cool articles on their website that show how to take product pictures for posting on websites. Mine need to be better. More to learn. More to do. This makes life fun. I hope it continues to be and I am grateful. It is good to keep learning and especially to learn from other people, including those who are younger than I am. I am thankful for these opportunities.
Surprised by the sight of the wheelchair, I was slightly taken aback and asked, "What is the wheelchair for?" My neighbor responded, "We have a tracking shot and we are going to use the wheelchair as a dolly." Ok. Actually it was quite cool and I plan to post a picture here later when I have uploaded the pictures to the desktop, downloaded them to the flash drive and re-uploaded them to the laptop, from which, connected to the Internet, I am blogging.
The equipment intrigued me. A light on a light pole. A tripod for the light pole and another for the camera. A boom mike with a headset. A round screen known as a diffuser. Finally, the wheelchair. Painter's blue tape came out of one of my drawers and was useful to keep the camera on the footplate of the wheelchair. (I just learned about painter's blue tape myself last summer.)
Life is varied and fun. I want a tripod myself. Also some lights. And a diffuser. Adorama has cool articles on their website that show how to take product pictures for posting on websites. Mine need to be better. More to learn. More to do. This makes life fun. I hope it continues to be and I am grateful. It is good to keep learning and especially to learn from other people, including those who are younger than I am. I am thankful for these opportunities.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Good is Now
Or good is here! I am trying to stop saving everything that is nice in my house for "good", whatever that is. I have things Mama saved that have never been used. It is time to use them for me. Good is now and it is for me! The time is right to stop using paper cups and paper plates and start using some of the pretty things that are squirreled away before they end up in the second-hand store becoming someone else's treasures.
I will find and use cloth napkins again and cloth handkerchiefs as well, even if it means that I will also have to find the iron again and a way to set up to iron. Now is a good time to celebrate every day--even if it is just a tiny slip of a celebration.
My neighbor's pretty green dishes (given away through our neighborhood email list) are the start of this. It has been a pleasure to eat off of plates again instead of styrofoam and not to have my kitchen garbage sack fill up so fast. I think that eating off disposable plates started in the eighties, a combination of busyness and Papa's desire to save work for me as well as a desire to save water. (I do recall a serious drought in the eighties, but not exactly which year.) Last week I realized that if I would use my daily coffee mug for my nightly cup of milk and then wash it I could have a clean coffee mug every day instead of drinking muck and wondering why the coffee was so awful and not buy paper cups any more. Wow! Where has my brain been!
Of course it uses water and dish detergent and time and energy (mine) to wash these things but it probably isn't as expensive as throwing away the disposables. We will see how this goes.
I can say that it is far more aesthetically pleasing to drink my milk from a china mug--especially if it has one of my own designs on it--and to eat off the new plates. Perhaps this will lead to a lighter mood and a bit less depression. I hope and I am grateful.
I will find and use cloth napkins again and cloth handkerchiefs as well, even if it means that I will also have to find the iron again and a way to set up to iron. Now is a good time to celebrate every day--even if it is just a tiny slip of a celebration.
My neighbor's pretty green dishes (given away through our neighborhood email list) are the start of this. It has been a pleasure to eat off of plates again instead of styrofoam and not to have my kitchen garbage sack fill up so fast. I think that eating off disposable plates started in the eighties, a combination of busyness and Papa's desire to save work for me as well as a desire to save water. (I do recall a serious drought in the eighties, but not exactly which year.) Last week I realized that if I would use my daily coffee mug for my nightly cup of milk and then wash it I could have a clean coffee mug every day instead of drinking muck and wondering why the coffee was so awful and not buy paper cups any more. Wow! Where has my brain been!
Of course it uses water and dish detergent and time and energy (mine) to wash these things but it probably isn't as expensive as throwing away the disposables. We will see how this goes.
I can say that it is far more aesthetically pleasing to drink my milk from a china mug--especially if it has one of my own designs on it--and to eat off the new plates. Perhaps this will lead to a lighter mood and a bit less depression. I hope and I am grateful.
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